Hobbits on Helium
by Aria Breuer
Summary: Pre-WotR (War of the Ring). While visiting Bag End, four years after Bilbo Baggins' disappearance, Merry Brandybuck hatches an idea with his cousin Frodo Baggins, involving helium balloons. Canon Gap-filler. Book-verse. A random object for a random story. No slash.


**Disclaimers:** All canon material from _The Lord of the Rings_ trilogy belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. All original material belongs to the author of this fanfiction story. Inspiration came from the television show "Galavant" song "Secret Mission". I know this is not a new idea, but at the same time it's rather rare in _The Lord of the Rings_ fandom. Other inspiration may have come from conversations I had with DoctorWhovian18. :)

Just know this is a random story before the War of the Ring. It's before the War of the Ring because Lotho Sackville-Baggins is still alive. Anyway, let's watch the fun. :)

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Bilbo Baggins had been away from the Shire for four years now. His cousin, Frodo Baggins, had no idea when the elderly hobbit would return to the Shire, or if he was away on holiday for a long while. Frodo dearly missed his uncle and longed for the day when they would be reunited.

It happened on this fine day, in the middle of summer, that Frodo's friend and cousin Merry Brandybuck dropped by for a visit. Merry, who turned 23 that year, of course knew there was no reason to drop in that day, but he felt in the mood to keep watch of Frodo and to keep unwanted guests away from Bag End. It was on this particular day that Merry had a surprise for Frodo.

Upon being allowed entry into Frodo's luxurious hobbit-hole, the two cousins embraced. Once Frodo and Merry were in the parlor, Frodo had to ask Merry's reason for dropping by:

"Merry, surely you did not come here just to visit me," said Frodo.

Merry said, acting rather conspicuous, "I wonder what gave you that idea."

"Because you're prodding my pantry table and avoiding my gaze," admitted Frodo. He knew his cousin well enough to know his mischievous antics.

Merry turned to his cousin in a silent manner, before pulling out a blue object. Taking the object in his hands, Frodo examined it. This object felt smooth, but also rubbery. Not knowing what it was or what to do with it, Frodo looked at Merry and shook his head. Just then, a knock rapped against the front green door. Still clinging to the object, Frodo opened the door, right as two hobbits depositing a canister filled with exactly what it said across its side: **Helium: USE WITH CAUTION!** Frodo's curiosity got the better of him. Just as he was about to crank the wheel, Merry rushed towards him and pushed him away.

" _Careful Frodo!_ You don't want this thing to go off," said Merry. Checking to make sure it was safe, Merry extended his hand: "Balloon."

Confused at the word, Frodo passed to Merry the blue object. "Is that what it's called?"

"Yes," said Merry, as he stuck the end of the blue balloon to the helium canister, turned the wheel, and watched the balloon inflate. Grasping the end and getting enough helium into the balloon, Merry turned the wheel back, shutting off the air. Turning to Frodo, Merry instructed, "Now, you hold onto the end until we're ready."

Frodo took the balloon, asking his cousin, "Ready for what?"

"You'll see," said Merry, inflating a green balloon. Once he turned off the helium, Merry stuck the balloon's end to his mouth, sucked in the helium, closed the balloon's end with his fingers, and then spoke in a high-pitched voice, "Hullo. My name is Merry Pippins. In case you were wondering what this is all about, please fasten your seat belts now."

Frodo couldn't help but chuckle, even after Merry's voice returned to normal. Wanting to test this out, Frodo stuck the balloon's end to his mouth, breathed in, and said, in a pitch higher than his usual voice, "I am a great goldfish. Here me scream. Hehehehehe!"

Merry couldn't help but chuckle there. An idea struck him. "Hey, let's pick on old Pimple-head. I'm sure he would get a good scare with this one."

Frodo inhaled more helium from the balloon. He told Merry, in his helium voice, "Okay. Let's go." He followed Merry out the door. He was so relieved he still had loads of helium in his balloon. Merry felt the same as he closed the front door.

o-o-o

Lotho Sackville-Baggins sat on a bench in the village of Bywater. It was a pleasant day to be near his mother's home. No sign of Frodo Baggins anywhere or Baggins' notorious cousin, Meriadoc Brandybuck, or Frodo's notorious gardener, Samwise Gamgee. No, it was a peaceful day, exactly what he… planned. What was that noise?

"Who's there?" asked Lotho.

"Not anyone you know," said a high-pitched voice. Lotho found the object that was speaking was a rock.

Lotho told the medium stone. "I'm sorry. I don't know you."

"Do you know me?" asked the squeaky rock.

"No! Now go away! Shoo!" What was he doing? Why was Lotho telling this rock to shoo? This rock didn't do anything to him. No, Lotho knew what he was doing.

"So, what are you thinking about? You thinking about Bag End," asked the squeaky rock.

"Under no circumstances are you to tell me about Bag End. That louse Frodo Baggins is keeping it away from my mother; my dear, sweet mother. She deserves that estate as much as the next hobbit. What's it to you?" asked Lotho. Did rocks talk?

"Does she wait on your hand and foot? She sounds like a proper mother, the best I'm sure," said the squeaky rock.

"My mother is the best. Just who are you anyway?" asked Lotho.

"Who are you?" asked another high-pitched voice. Lotho spotted the tree right next to the bench.

"Who are you?" asked Lotho.

"I said it first," said the squeaky tree.

"Well, I thought it first." He pointed his finger at the tree and rock. "You two are clearly wasting my time!"

"No need to be so alarmed. I'm only a tree," said the squeaky tree.

"And I'm a rock. Fear me!" said the squeaky rock, making Lotho jump with surprise.

Lotho was clearly fed up by this. He had no idea which was worse: a squeaky rock or a squeaky tree. This was too much. Lotho told the two objects as he fled back to his mother's house, "Leave me alone! _Mother!_ MOTHER!" He ran inside.

Just then Frodo and Merry fled the scene, fleeing out of Bywater and back to Hobbiton. By the time they re-entered Bag End, closing the door, Frodo and Merry broke down in laughter. They released their balloons, which made raspberry sounds, but only ended up laughing uncontrollably. Merry found himself on the floor. It was too much for him. But this did lead Frodo to find himself leaning against the wall of the Entrance Hall. When their laughing fit stopped, Frodo and Merry sighed loudly in relief. Their prank on Lotho was successful.

Sam burst into Bag End, wondering what happened. He turned to Frodo and said, "Mr. Frodo, whatever is the matter?"

"Oh Sam, Merry and I were just messing around with helium balloons," said Frodo, still chuckling with joy. He turned to Merry, who went quiet. "Merry, will you let Sam try his hand at a balloon?"

"I don't know; Sam isn't nowhere near as ready as we are," said Merry, making every excuse not to give Sam a helium balloon.

Frodo gave Merry a sharp, serious glare, "Merry, if you don't do it, I will tell Lobelia that it was you who pranked Lotho."

"You did it too, Frodo," admitted Merry, truthfully.

"Yes, but this whole ordeal with the balloons was your idea," said Frodo.

Sam backed away as he said, heading out the door, "You know, I'm takin' a break. I really should get back to Bag End's garden now."

"Sam, you really need to try these balloons. They're fun," said Frodo, smiling.

Sam blushed. "Mr. Frodo, I don't think I want to. It's not natural."

"What's so unnatural about a balloon?" asked Merry, clearly confused.

Sam backed out of the idea altogether. "Look, I'm sorry Mr. Frodo, but I'm heading back outside."

Frodo sighed. Seems he couldn't convince Sam this time around. Maybe another time. "All right. Don't work too hard. I know your Gaffer puts you through a lot. You deserve a break."

"Oh, I have plenty to do, Mr. Frodo. Thank you," said Sam. He avoided Merry's gaze as he bolted out the door, rushing back to the garden before a shrew invaded the vegetables.

Frodo was concerned now. Why wouldn't Sam at least have some fun? He noticed Merry's gaze on him. Frodo shook his head, informing Merry at once, "That was very cocky, Merry. You should apologize to Sam."

"Sam's lower class, Frodo," said Merry.

"And that doesn't make him any different from us," said Frodo, serious.

"Well, we are rich, you and me," said Merry.

"And Sam doesn't deserve better? Come on, Merry, that's selfish," said Frodo.

"Let's get back to blowing up balloons with helium," said Merry.

Frodo shook his head. "No. I'm done. I'll make you some tea." That was the end of that conversation. At once, he headed into the kitchen, grateful to be doing something else and also knowing that Merry would one day find a way to apologize to Sam. Sam didn't do anything, and at the same time, Frodo felt the need to encourage his gardener and friend to be more open, more himself. It was the least he could do.

Eventually, Merry convinced Frodo to get back into the helium balloons. They had fun for hours. Frodo would not forget this day, as it would be a moment he would cherish. And that was the way of things in the Shire, while there was still peace.

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 **And that's the end of the story. Feel free to leave a review, telling me what you thought of this story. I know this story went into showing and telling, I didn't mean to but it's there nonetheless. Okay, bye! :)**


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